As Michael Stipe would say, It was just a dream

My dream began in my house, which didn't really look anything like my house, and my grandparents and uncle were again visiting us. It was morning, and I wanted to shower but my grandmother was doing that thing where she pretends to be gracious but really is upset that you are doing whatever it is you are doing and she won't leave me alone and keeps saying things like "I hope you have a nice shower! I haven't had mine yet!" very pointedly and plus I realize I haven't moved my shower stuff yet so I just leave and let her have it. Unshowered, I go downstairs and the rest of my family and my uncle are sitting there in my living room which again doesn't look anything like my actual living room, with my uncle's girlfriend (which as far as I know he hasn't had one since college) who is this woman: You may or may not recognize her as Ursula from George of the Jungle, or Jon Stewart's podiatrist ex-Hooter girlfriend in Big Daddy. She has a baby but for some reason has forgotten to bring the child. At this point, John Mahoney shuffles by wearing nothing but a cinched flasher's trench coat, socks and shoes. He has two baby dolls tied around his neck. I think one of them was my uncle's girlfriend's baby. Then Kelsey Grammar, or more accurately, Frasier Crane comes running after his obviously senile father and swears at him. (By this time, my family has pretty much disappeared.) Then Frasier looks over to where I am sitting next to a two year old girl with red curly hair and runs over to the girl and starts trying to explain away her grandfather's erratic behavior and also her father's use of inappropriate language. Niles is there with his son, also about the same age, and criticizes Frasier for trying to rationalize to a young child and Frasier looks at him (and any fan of the show will be able to imagine this scene well) and says "They're like sponges, you know!" Then where a fireplace once was, a magical technicolor slide appears. The children and I get on the slide and ride into the abyss. The kids begin by playing duck, duck, goose as we slowly glide along this rainbow. It's the girl's turn and she says "duck duck..." and I offer a "goose?" to help her out but she laughs and says "juice!" instead. So then we all have glasses of juice with foam on top and the kids are playing and, obviously mimicking their fathers, by asking for a hint of nutmeg and whisper of vanilla. We end up in a courtroom sipping frothy juice with nutmeg and vanilla. Which really was only right because that's the only place any of those events really should end up.

This Ensemble is a Nightmare

If you've seen the show What Not to Wear, you'll know that they occasionally do personal appearances at malls or bridal shows, and undoubtedly select one lucky (or unlucky I suppose) person in the audience to be their next contributor. I was attending such an event with my mom and naturally, I was picked for a wardrobe overhaul. Stacy and Clinton were there of course and my mom was really excited about it. We were just getting started: pulling out all of my clothes, going into the 360 degree mirror, mannequins and all that jazz when I was pulled aside and they tried to interview me about how I was feeling, what I was anxious about or looking forward to, etc... when I realized I don't really want to do this. As much fun as it would be to hang out with Stacy and Clinton, I don't want them to throw out all my clothes (because I know my chucks and Disney princess purses are going first), I can't go to New York for a week and miss school and I really really don't want to be talking to a camera about my emotional response to the whole thing so that's when I decide to back out.

So This Is What They Mean By "Year of A Million Dreams"

Just Another Manic Monday Night Dream
I really need to stop having relationship dreams. So last night, I had a boyfriend that I left to get back together with Shawn. Although, I'm not totally sure it was me since I wasn't really behaving like me. We were at the disgustingly cute stage in our relationship like my roommate and her boyfriend where they have to smooch between every sentence. We were at some sort of adult ed school and attending a culinary class. There was lots of marshmallow cream involved. But not in a dirty way. We were coating ramekins and using it as a topping for a huckleberry beverage. My subconscious is very creative culinarily. At the end I was growing weary of the overly precious relationship. Poor Shawn.

I just remembered another dream I had about a year ago, that was really two dreams with a "to be continued":

Meggie-doodles in the Land of the Disney
Anushka and I were going to Disneyland. We arrived there and settled into our hotel which was really a small cabin painted yellow with cheerful and vaguely Disney characters on the outside. We took a nap, then proceeded to go to a restaurant that is still outside the park and it was one of those fake atmosphere type places with lots of wood paneling and random pieces of detritus hanging on the walls. At this point Anushka sort of disappears. I get into the park but it's almost closing time. I am waiting in line for a ride, and end up inside a decorative house where you are definitely not supposed to be. There is also a large snow sled type ride that I go on, but due to ride constraints I get separated from my group (where did I get a group? no clue) I catch up with them and it's not really so much Disneyland anymore (it never truly resembled Disneyland, I was just aware that it was in the dream.) and it's more like a fair. There are booths with people selling shady stuff. And barn animals.





I finally leave "Disneyland" and am facing a large school campus of some sort. It may be a church or a preschool or special ed kind of school. They seem to have hired the guy who designs fast food play places for the decorating because it all kind of resembles that sort of thing with lots of squiggly things and bright colors. I run into Jim Winchester who directs me to one of the many buildings and tells me to go help out with the kids there. I feel obligated to do so, but get lost. I'm really trying to get back to Disneyland and one tram ride and underground vortex tube transporter (part Wonkavator, part "beam me up Scottie") later, I end up at these funky Japanese style dorms and am bugged by numerous RAs trying to get me to go to their programs when all I want to do is find a soda machine and go to my room and sleep.

California Dreamin'

I'm pleasantly surprised to find that, opposite of what I expected, this journal seems to increase my propensity for remembering dreams. Granted, they are not necessarily more interesting but I am able to recall them nevertheless. Both occured last night.

Not Quite as Bad as Mrs. Lovett's Shop, but Almost

In this dream, my house was not just a restaurant but the worst prepared restaurant ever. A couple comes in just before closing time and orders food, of which we have none. The woman wants what I believe was supposed to be paella but in my dream it was a strange variation thereof. The man ordered something with fried kalamari on top. In our restaurant, you sat on the hard wood floor at a short table in that area between the kitchen and family room although the family room was also converted into the restaurant. I'm stressing out because it is entirely on my shouders to prepare some sort of food. The rest of my family is there but with no intention of doing anything. We try to suggest to the couple that it would be in their interest to go somewhere else as we were just closing up and having nothing readily prepared, but they assure us they are willing to wait. So I struggle to put some kind of meal together and try to be somewhat creative since we don't actually have much of the ingredients needed to make the dishes. My mom argues with me because I'm doing it wrong but eventually I win. The funny thing, to me at least, is that this area of my house is totally open so the people had to be really dense to not hear all this arguing and talk of not having any food and such. Finally, we serve the people edible food and they leave.

I swear that I am really not as bad a driver as this dream suggests.

It was a Sunday morning but also a school day. I had to return to Fresno, but I decided to drop in on Mr. Doherty before I did so. I went to Cal High and talked to him for a while. I decided it was time to leave and as I walked towards the front of the school but I get periodically stuck and can't move. Molly, who I haven't seen since middle school I think, is there visiting too and tries to talk to me but notices I'm temporarily paralyzed and asks me what is going on. I try to explain in between bouts of motionlessness but eventually we both give up and say goodbye. I get in my car and suddenly Joseph is with me so I guess I was taking him home. I was in a hurry, so I started the car before I was fully prepared and couldn't get my foot on the brake. At first I ran the red light at the Broadmoor (which I know doesn't exist) and I was too busy freaking out about that to realize that Broadmoor has become a race track and all these really fast cars are driving past and around me, luckily avoiding me. I try to change lanes and get off of the race track but then the cars are coming from behind me. I woke up before I died in a fiery wreck or any other resolution could take place.

The Man of My Dreams??

I know I say that my dreams usually have nothing to do with anything I've done or seen or heard that day, but this one is an unfortunate exception. And of course, it's not a time when I'm listening to relient k or watching Daniel Radcliffe. It's when I made the sad mistake of watching "Girls Next Door" before going to bed. Naturally, I dreamt that I was one of the girls next door. I was Hugh Hefner's brunette prude girlfriend. I must have replaced Kendra because she was definitely not around. My mom came to visit me and was very unhappy about the choices I had made in life. I think she brought some friends of mine too because after she left rather disgusted, Holly and I showed them around the mansion including the water park, a room full of computers, and a room that was a giant pink playhouse ostensibly for children but it was my favorite. I guess I was on the show too because I distinctly remember being interviewed and explaining, that no, I don't sleep with Hef and yes that is a bone of contention. No pun intended or desired. At one point, I was talking to Hef and he was apparently pleased with me for something and I suggested he make me girlfrield #1 and he did that chuckle thing he does when one of his bimbos does something adorable and they earned a cookie or whatever. I'm pretty sure Bridget and Holly and I got along ok.

A Dream Is a Wish Your Baker Makes

Last night, I had several dreams but unfortunately the only one I remember clearly is that I was trying to help Kelli pick out a cake but they only had Aurora and she wanted Little Mermaid. I kept trying to give her different options like buying her own Ariel and sticking it on top or whatever. But she wouldn't listen.

Not So Sweet Dreams

No "Yo Momma" joke necessary
a while ago
My parents broke up and my mom was dating a lot of other people and dressing slightly less than appropriate. This dream totally freaked me out. My mom thought it was funny.

Dreams are Kool (and filtered)
a long time ago
I had started smoking, but when confronted by Thielen I denied that I was addicted and said "that I could stop anytime" but I knew I was lying.

Nobody expects the Thiessen Inquisition!
1/20/08
This one was most likely brought on by the fact that I had seen Robert earlier that day. I was walking home from school in a very stereotypical tv series type neighborhood with big trees and flat sidewalks (so def. not my actual house) and on my way I had left cookies in plastic boxes outside so I could have a snack on my way home. I get home and know I need to go meet Robert at his job which is apparently sitting on a roof. However, I realize that leaving cookies outside is stupid. I go to get the cookies and then find Robert on the roof. When I get to the roof, I need to climb over a fence but my pants are too tight and I'm having difficulties so I tell him to look away so he won't see anything he shouldn't. I finally make it over and then it's time to go to a relient K concert. I either have permission or just know a sneaky way to get backstage and find Matthew Thiessen, still with Robert in tow, but Matt is actually a woman. Somehow, this wasn't strange in the dream. It wasn't like he was secretly a tranny. He had a short blond bob and boobs and well nothing else "womanly" that I could see but he was just a woman and that was that. I said something along the lines of "it's great to see you again! I'm sure you won't remember but we met before..." and he interrupts and says "oh yea! Five times, huh? Well now I guess it is six." Meaning that he rememebered I had seen RK five times previously (a fact the real Matthew Thiessen was impressed by). While he was busy signing some stuff for me, I asked him a bunch of questions like "what is your favorite Beach Boys song?" and I think he said either "Good Timin'" or "Good Vibrations". I know I was slightly surprised at the answer thinking it wasn't one of my favorites and also not the most popular nor the most original choice. Evs. He joked about me being "the Inquisition". At this point, I believe Robert became increasingly jealous and angry and a great cloud of dislike and distrust grew between us. Figuratively speaking. I know there were two "Roberts", one that was not repulsive and another that I was trying to get away from. Whether or not these were actually 2 separate people with dark hair or the same person with borderline personality disorder, I'm not entirely sure. But then, that question remains unanswered in reality as well.

Dreams: Royal Road to Consciousness

I lied! I forgot some more dreams. My bad.

What would Freud have to say about this?
the night before my psych final
I have to go to a mall to take my psych final and I get there and can't find the room where I am supposed to go. As I wander around trying to find it, my panic increases exponentially. I end up at some security headquarters "backstage", which is to say I wasn't supposed to be there but they can't tell me where to go either. I finally get to a room with desks and it's empty. At this point, the dream sort of shifts gears. Now I am with my boyfriend (no idea who he is) and some other friends in the mall. Upon my suggestion, we decide to go to a pizza by the slice place before attending a concert. It's a really big mall. One of my friends didn't like the pizza choices available and another was mad that I got the last slice of "penguin pizza" which is the same thing as hawaiian. All of the sudden, the power cuts out and everything in the mall goes dark. We wander around a la Breakfast Club and end up sitting around a fountain chatting with my dad and some random people we met at the mall.

Ho, Ho and Ho
during break
In this dream, I'm married and probably recently so because my husband and I (again someone I don't recognize) are still kind of sickeningly love-dovey. Somehow I didn't puke myself awake. We were both chefs, working in our own restaurant. At one point, we were sitting on the roof among giant, dilapidated Christmas decorations (lots of angels and red and green) cuddling. Again, the no puking thing is kind of surprising.

Dream Journal is totally up to date now!

It starts out at Julia's house, or maybe my house but Julia's "family" is there. (In the dream, Julia's parents were not Ray and Karen, but Carmen and Dinyar, aka Anushka's parents) They are constantly going out to eat together, too. I start removing Christmas decorations. Then Julia turns into Casey as we leave. Casey and I are investigating or visitng a reality show produced and/or hosted by Donald Trump. It took place in a stair-step type pool inside a large warehouse type building with an large open doorway that led out to what appeared to be open water. When the contestants were voted off, they swam out into the watery abyss, obstensibly. In reality and after several good takes, they would go to an elimination station just out of sight. As we are standing there talking to Donald Trump, a guy silently approaches me and takes my hands and puts his bare feet on mine, as if to warm them up. Which I appreciate cause I'm pretty chilly. Then he holds on to my hand and starts to lead me away and I grab Casey and we walk like that out of the back of the pool (away from the never-ending ocean) into a mall and go down an escalator still holding hands I might add. At this point Casey turns back into Julia. We go to a place that is something like an information booth or a grocery store branch of a bank where Julia and her mom (really Anushka's mom Carmen) work. Julia is looking for something in the drawers and also fights with the guy on duty, who is possibly an ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately we don't get to explore this story anymore as at that moment, Carmen enters and starts complaining about how she's stuffed and hates energy. We turn back to the guy from the pool to find that he is actually a mentally retarded midget (MRM). We take him to a large fountain to play in cause we are pretty much at loss at what to do with him. A man is rowing a boat in the fountain yelling at a little girl. Julia and I know him and seem to have some sort of pre-existing relationship because I'm aware that he is a child talent agent. We hang out for a while still not knowing what to do with the MRM. Then we remember the talent agent's constant complaint that he can't find a child who won't grow up and decide to convince him he should adopt the MRM, since he won't really grow up. He asks us if we think he is "marketable" and we have to admit it would probably be only for a short time but we won him over anyway. We bid adieu to the MRM and left.

Something the Reverend King and I have in common

I too had a dream but it wasn’t about little white children and little black children. It was about Carlos, the very hot chemist I worked with at the FSIS lab in Alameda. In my dream, I was exhausted and could barely stay awake. Which is sooo not restorative. I was trying to get home from work (I guess the lab) but ended up following Carlos onto public transportation that left me stranded in San Jose. At the hp pavilion of all places. I was using all my energy to keep my eyes open but I also know I have to get back to Alameda to get my car and then get back home. But then Carlos drags me to this taxidermy type museum. Then we go to some Cajun restaurant and he’s getting pretty handsy and I keep hitting him and shoving him off but he seemed to think it was funny. I probably would have too, to some extent, if I wasn’t so tired. That’s the feeling I had, rather than a sense of being violated. Also we couldn’t get a waiter. Then when he finally showed up I couldn’t read the menu cause I was so tired and my head kept doing that droop, jerk awake thing. I think we met someone we knew at the restaurant but I don’t remember who it was. I probably would have just fallen asleep on them.

I had another dream that night too. I guess I was at Cal High, but it was after hours. There were some people I recognized in the dream but don’t actually know. One person told me to ask “Jeanne” how she met her husband. So I did and the story told me was actually more about how he proposed. I don't actually remember the story unfortunately.

Hey! You! Get out of my Dream

Last night, I dreamt that Clive took me to a Rolling Stones concert. It was actually Sherwood and Rolling Stones, which is why I went. Nothing against the Stones, but I’ve heard about their concerts (namely that they make you prematurely deaf) so I really have no overwhelming desire to see them. I guess my dream also included the brown note which, if you don’t know or haven’t watched the Mythbusters episode, is a mythical note that cannot be heard by humans but can cause them to lose control of their bowels. That being said, Clive was wearing a diaper so he wouldn’t have to worry about that. In my dream, the rationale was more like he didn’t want to have to leave in the middle to go to the bathroom but I think the association came from the Mythbusters’ brown note experiment. I was making fun of him and refusing to wear one. Oh I also left the tickets in the car so we had to go back and get them. When we got inside, I saw several other people wearing diapers. I did not feel pressure to do the same, I was just even more concerned about going to a Rolling Stones concert so I decided I would just stand far away during their set. Maybe the really old guys and incontinence inspired the diapers.

The American Dream

Dan Quayle Day

12/19/07
My mom had apparently had a baby, but a while ago ‘cause we had a 10 month old toddling around the house. Stephanie also had extra siblings, including twins which were slightly older than my new baby brother. Stephanie brought them over and the twins (named Larry and Lilly I think) brought a present for my sibling. That was pretty much unrelated to what happened next. Well, slightly. Since we had guests, I went downstairs to fix some food. So then I realized my brothers (real ones) and my dad were at home. Then, Dan Quayle, who is also in my house, informs me that it’s Dan Quayle day, a new national holiday. I wasn’t actually that surprised to find Dan Quayle in my kitchen, more annoyed. So when he was out of earshot, my Dad and I made fun of how dumb he is. I think sometimes he heard us, but was kind of like “Oh yeah! That was silly!” and didn’t really get it. That was really about it, I think I was trying to figure out how to get rid of Dan Quayle but with little success.

Once Upon a Midnight McDreamy

27 Things I Hate to Remember About Dresses

12/15/07 (or thereabouts)

I am offered a ride in an expensive vehicle by a very rich, very tan (almost orange), very over styled guy (like Ryan Seacrest only manlier and taller) which I begrudgingly accept because I seem to have no other choice. I think my car was broken down and it was raining profusely. It also seems that we have some kind of past, in which he is trying to get me to date him but I categorically refuse. He takes me way out of my way, with the intention of winning me over and almost successfully as my anger is only partially true, the rest to mask the fact that I am slightly amused and flattered. Obviously, wherever I was trying to go was not that important. He drives into a field but our path is blocked by several very red chestnut horses. Getting impatient, I say “why don’t you just move them?” to which he replies, quite frustrated at this point, “what, all of them?” then we have one of those movie type pauses and then both laugh at the stupidity of our previous statements. Pretty much the typical climactic moment in any movie where two people who start out despising one another and eventually fall in love. I didn’t stay asleep long enough to find out if we fell in love, but I found him less insufferable at the end.

A Dream of Sweet Allusion

All subsequent dreams, unless otherwise noted, are at least in mostly chronological order (when I don’t have dates or I didn’t e-mail the dream to Julia) as they all occurred this semester. Also, how is this fortuitous? I'm currently listening to Queen's "One Vision" and Freddie Mercury says "dream" like twenty times in this song. So the blog title is an obscure reference to that song.

“Sounds like something you would actually do” - Julia
It is my wedding day. I’m dressed and made up and hair-done and suddenly, I decide I don’t actually want to get married. It doesn’t sound like fun anymore. My reservations are purely material: I feel really bad about disappointing the people who came, the waste of the money and being embarrassed at being the one who broke it off. My would-be groom was a mildly famous pretty boy celebrity, and was late to the ceremony. I took that as a sign that he didn’t want to get married either so I quickly called it off. Then he arrived, explained that he was unavoidably detained but really did want to marry me. But I broke it to him as gently as I could that I changed my mind. He was kind of sad. And I felt badly about that. But honestly, it would have been worse if I had gone through with the ceremony half-heartedly.

College Dream
I was home from college, and I believe my intent was to have dinner with my parents somewhere. I just know I was driving my truck around Livermore at night and probably got lost or something. Then I parked and lost my car which really freaked me out because I was convinced my parents would be more upset

about that than me wandering around alone at night. I never said my dreams were rational. I was only mildly concerned when I ran into Trevor. He took me to his house where his mother was kind enough to give me a couch to sleep on and Trevor and I talked about our college experiences. Then I think Trevor got a little handsy and his parents found out (because of my vociferous objections and I had to leave. Then details get fuzzy. I know I also saw Scott and Sam, possibly under similar circumstances. I believe Sam helped me find my car and I finally got home, by the morning light. Even as I dreamt I was aware of the situation being very silly.

I Dreamed A Dream of Days Gone By

I had these a while ago, I can't believe I forgot to add them!

James and Julia
late July/early August 2006
I had this dream my first night in Paris. It was incredibly vivid. Julia was the protagonist, caught in a love triangle, torn between the Hugh Grant irresponsible play boy type and the Colin Firth quiet reserved reliable and mature guy. Initially, she picked the more exciting and romantic guy and soon became pregnant with Hugh Grant’s baby, but HG couldn’t commit. He would be in and out of Julia and James’ life. (That was the name of the most beautiful blond baby boy, even more so than Daniel, and just as smart as Christopher) One day, HG was supposed to pick up James from day care while Julia was at work. She came home to find that HG had not done this and she became so upset that she walked to the day care barefoot to get him and carried him home on a rocky red dirt path. (This image is seared into my brain, if I could, I would paint it.) She kicked HG out and finally realized that she truly loved CF and he was dedicated to her and they lived happily ever after.

Nathaniel and Me

probably 7th or 8th grade, when Rachel and I were hanging out a lot

I was swimming in an indoor pool which I had seen in an episode of Are you Afraid of the Dark? which is a show some of you old geezers may or may not remember from Nickelodeon back when had some decent kids programming, a long long time ago when tween stars kept their unwanted pregnancies private! But I digress. So this pool was used for some satanic ritual I believe but the episode never made it clear what was going on. Anyway, in my dream I was swimming in it and I see Nathaniel standing in a corner talking to an invisible dream person and I decide it will be hilarious to steal his belt. So I sneak up to him looking suspiciously like the white spy in "Spy vs. Spy". I may have even been doing that wringing of hands thing and snickering as sneaky people are apt to do then I do it. I grab his belt and run to the other side of the room. The belt is one of those nylon types with a cinch clasp, rather than a grommet. The belt buckle was Bob the Tomato, but he was a green tomato. However much to my chagrin, Nathaniel does nothing about it. He doesn't even notice! So after waiting for a while I walk up to him and say "um, hey, I have your belt." He turns around and says "Oh, did you need one? You can have it, I've got plenty."

Dreams Do Come True

Relient K dream numero uno

Sometime after November 20, 2005
I only know the date because, despite my best efforts, I never had a relient k dream until after I saw them live for the first time. In what I believe is the first in a series of relient k dreams, Julia, Katie and I were frolicking in a field with sheep. It was something like Chaffee park, part county fair. There were lots of kiddie rides and open spaces to in which to play. We got to the train and they got on but I wasn’t allowed because I was too old and it had taken off with them before they could get off (I say this only to stress that they didn’t ditch me. I would have been dream-pissed.) so I’m getting worried about how I will meet up with them again when Teri Hatcher shows up and promises to guide me through a series of tunnels which will eventually lead me to where the train ride ends, which is at a house where a pretty typical college-type party is going on. Not totally wild (not that I had or have any experience) but lots of red cups and people lounging about, ambient noise. I wander around the house a bit to find who, but all five relient k guys squeezed on a couch. In my dream, I felt like we were engaging in conversation and having a good old time but I seem to remember them more comatose. I think it was because, except for Hoopes, I really didn’t have distinguished personalities for any of them. I don’t think Matt Thiessen was there actually. If so, I didn’t notice him. Hoopes was prevalent.

Another relient k dream
Later, probably mid 2007
In this one, I am attending a relient k concert with my Dad. I’m aware of Julia and Katie and other friends being there but for some reason I am not with them. It is at a giant church, similar to the one I went to in Texas, mainly in that it had a balcony. I also believe it was geared towards children. The gist of the dream is that I missed most of the concert (opening acts and probably main event as well) because I was so obsessed with getting back stage and meeting the band. I should add that I was unsuccessful.

Yet Another

Closer to November, 2007

This dream occurred as I was getting really excited for the Nov. 2007 shows (little did I know then!) I was at a much harder concert than in the previous dream (not that these were consecutive. This journal is only loosely chronological, as best I can remember.) because I remember there being lots of sweaty people on the floor (I was at the back, not being squished) and it was dark, with a light show. Cindy was there, and so I assume her kids Matt and Cassidy. During a break, they tossed out t-shirts which apparently had the bonus of being a backstage pass. Cindy caught one but wouldn’t let me have it because she wanted to give it to her kids. Awake, I fully realize the legitimacy of this. During the dream however, I was kind of disappointed seeing as how I was right there and the kids were goodness only knows where. My waking relationship with Cindy has not been compromised. (Thanks to Katie for these actual photos of an actual concert that I was actually at. Actually!)

Dream a Little Dream of Daniel V.

During PR season 2005-2006 or shortly thereafter
In this dream, I was knowingly in a non-romantic relationship with gay designer, Daniel Vosovic. I dreamt that we had kids together. My dream was really a glimpse of our life. We were crossing the street and one of the kids almost ran out into the middle and I yelled at him for not taking better care of our child.

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Didn't Love Me

The Worst Dream I’ve Ever Had Not sure, probably 2003-2004
This dream scared/scarred me so much, I’ve never told anyone about it. So here you go: exclusive, never before seen material! Not that this influenced my not telling people nor do I feel particularly guilty about this, but I’m pretty sure I was dating someone else at the time this dream occurred. It was one of those chasing something in the mist, but I was pregnant. I was searching for Sam, who was apparently the father of my child and also the man I loved, who had abandoned me. I was very tired, as pregnant women are apt to be. Also very distressed and frightened that he had left me forever. I awoke in a panic and to talk myself back into reality.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Trevor, pt. 1, 8th grade
I’m driving a hot wheels car in a church trip caravan in space and Kelli is with me. Everything is in 80s day-glo colors. We get separated from the group and are driving along the rings of Saturn. We come to a hotel and get a room. Inside everything is entirely pink. Trevor calls and invites me to a costume party. Since I had a crush on him at this time, I am more than eager to go. The rest of the dream is spent frustratingly trying to find a suitable costume out of the clothes I brought to go on whatever church trip I was supposed to be attending. My clothes also turned pink in the hotel room.

Trevor, pt. 2, 8th grade
This time we are returning home from a church trip and Trevor’s dad is there waiting for us, and informs us that Trevor will be driving me home. Then he disappears. Trevor and I get into his car and he proceeds to back out and hits a post or chain link fence. We get to my house which is actually a dark wood paneled mansion. (It may or may not have been the mansion in Murder by Death I now realize.) Also, my family was in the mafia, led by Uncle Carl from First Wives Club.

I took Trevor upstairs, via this ginormous wooden staircase so as not to get involved with whatever my mafia family was doing. Then I took him to the barn to show him my horse, which was a big red-chestnut gelding. We had a great time but finally he had to leave.

To Begin My Dream Life at the Beginning of My Dream Life

First Dream, Probably 1994-1996
The first dream I ever remember having, which is more accurately a nightmare, most likely occurred after I watched Wizard of Oz for the first time. In my dream which was really more of a nightmare I saw the wicked witch of the west standing on a red curb cackling at me. And I was terrified and woke up. I wanted to run into my parents’ room with my Spot but I think I felt too old so that may signify a time frame. I still can’t really watch that movie.


Second Dream, Sometime after the first dream
The second dream I remember having was that I was flying with (and perhaps also one of these creatures) a combination of troll dolls and sky dancers. I had a lot of fun.






Recurring dreams:
I guess I should also include these as well.
1) I’m in the passenger seat of a car and I’m supposed to get a sandwich out of a mailbox as we pull up besides it. However, when I open it a snake jumps out at me. Very scary.
2) I am stepping off a curb, unawares, and simultaneously watching my foot step off without being able to stop myself. I end up jerking myself awake. I’ve had this dream for as long as I can remember although about 2 years into horse back riding it changed into
3) A similar situation but instead I’m riding a horse, approaching a jump and he feints and I keep going and roll over front onto the jump. Yes, I have actually done this and it hurts a lot.