Americone Dream

"Have you been reading my dream journal?" - Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA

Monday night, I dreamt that I went back to work at ClubSport and they changed the uniform. In fact, it kinda looked like Robert Plotkin postal uniform on Project Runway. Anyway, it sucked. Plus I had to buy new pants which ticked me off.

Last night, I dreamt that someone showed me a textbook that I was in. There was a picture of me making a funny face, with Caitlin in it. The caption said "Megan likes to stay in touch with her inner child." Then went on to describe me as a student at University of Tennesse (which I'm not) studying something... I forget what it said but wasn't what I'm studing. So that was weird. Then I was getting ready to drive to Oklahoma with my family (we were in Illinois for some reason?) and it was going to be 7 hours. Not sure if that's realistic but in my dream that's how long it took. I told my Mom I was ready, and I had two books. And she was like, is that enough? And I said yes, even though they were short. Then she reminded me it would take 7 hours and I was like oh no! I need more books. So I went to the library but it was all boarded up and the only section open was the kids section. Then I ran around for a while trying to find books. The end.

Dreamalicious

This is a compilation of recent dreams.

1. I dreamt that I got 100% on my nutrition project. Not at all likely.

2. I dreamt that I was at Disneyland with Sara and Matt. We were celebrating my birthday. Matt was being a butt. Sara and I had fun however. We went on a roller coaster. Then I went to my grandparents' house to celebrate my birthday or so I thought. But when I went to see the cake, there were no candles and they were already cutting it so I was bummed then informed that they weren't celebrating my birthday after all. But I got cake anyway and it was purple.

3. Something else mundane. I just remember waking up, doing whatever I had dreamt about and then thinking, wait didn't I already do this?

4. I dreamt that I was in this really awesome Georgian house with my brothers, my Dad, Shawn and a bunch of other guys and they were being annoying so I went to sleep in a bunk bed. Then I woke up and we were all outside the house, and Breanna said she couldn't take care of the house this week and she needed someone to fill in. So I asked what she had to do, to see if I could do it because I really thought it would be cool to have free reign of the place and check everything out upclose. But before I could, Jonathan said he would do it because he wasn't working those days. Then Breanna handed him the Mary Poppins umbrella. I followed him to the front door but he couldn't figure out how he was supposed to get in. So I take the umbrella and am suddenly dressed like Mary Poppins (wouldn't that be awesome?!) and put the pointy end in the hole on the door and it opens. Then I woke up and was sad because it was really fun.

One small dream for a man... one giant dream for mankind?

In my dream I was running around late at night doing errands in my pink Lucy pajamas and I was thinking hmm this probably isn't a good idea, but I wasn't tired so I decided to go to Target and look at the Barbies. Which I do occasionally. So I go in and there aren't any in the first section with the discount toys (this wasn't set up like your normal everyday Target.) so I went to the back, larger section and then suddenly there was an explosion in the front part and dust and smoke was going everywhere. I was kind of stuck back there until it calmed down and I started to come out. The police where investigating and there was a guy sitting down in a chair. He got up and started hitting on me and told me he was an astronaut, which I was inclined to believe at the time because he had a gray polo shirt on with the NASA logo and there was another guy standing off to the side in full astronaut garb (as I explained later in the dream to Steph. Is it weird that I used the word garb in a dream?) so the whole thing didn't seem as out there. The casual dress astronaut sort of looked like this: Note the Bulldog on his shirt, I do actually know this person. Not well enough to dream about but more so than some of the people I dream about. (I'm talking to you John Cusack.)

Anyway, since earlier that day I had had a "I haven't dated anyone in 5 years, I haven't even been asked... what's wrong with me?" crisis so I was slightly more receptive to his come-ons than I would normally be. Plus he was tall and kind of cute. But in order to be safe, I decided Steph had to come with me. So I go to her house to get her and I walk in through the kitchen and her mom is there and she offers me some wine and I'm like no thanks but she is like sobbing and keeps toasting her father, who has just died, and her son, whom she lost. (? Her words, considering as far as I know she's never had a son I'm not sure what that means.) So I just go upstairs and get Steph. The next thing I remember, we are at a stoplight - it is still way late and dark - and Steph and the guy are having some sort of heated discussion and I'm just staying out of it. So we get to a restaurant and they tell us the wait is 3 hours and I'm like that is just too long so we go back to my dorm. There or on the way, I discover he is really some sort of con man or maybe spy and naturally I find this upsetting. I ask him his name (which I apparently never thought to inquire about before) and he gives me something vaguely Arab sounding and I'm like c'mon your real name then he says something enigmatic like "I have many names" or "I am known by many names" and shows me a list of all of his other identities. But I keep insisting what's your real name and finally he tells me Jack Wick and I'm like "well I think if I had known Jack Wick I would be able to fall in love with him" or something equally nauseating. And then he kisses me and it's a nice kiss but then I realize, hey he's a professional liar or whatever he is, I should probably not close my eyes because he might steal something from my room. Then I also realize something else and abruptly stop the kiss and was yell "were you responsible for the explosion?" and he was like, well yeah! As if to imply it was no big deal, just a part of his job. Apparently I feel very strongly about not blowing up Targets so that's when I finally kick him out. Steph (who was not in the room for the kiss and sappy Lifetime moment) gives me grief about falling for him (although I still believe he really liked me and I was not part of some con or heist or whatever) and how stupid could I be thinking he was an astronaut, etc... Also he may have taken something from her house when I was fetching her. Needless to say, this doesn't help the whole "I only attract sociopaths" theory.

Project Dreamgay

I had a dream recently where I arrived at uh somewhere, ha, not really sure. It was either a neighborhood or some sort of studio/work space. I dunno, but I was totally naked. Then my gay designer friend who somehow utilized the space but also had condescending neighbors. He was like a gentler version of Jay from Project Runway. Anyway the other people I came with were like hey, why are you naked? And I was like because will dress me way better than I can. And he did. And then we went somewhere fabulous. Oh how I miss my gays. They are so hard to find in Fresno.

Red-headed Dreams

I've had a lifelong dream (no pun intended) of being a redhead. (I think a Debra Messing red.)

So in the last two nights, I have subconsciously lived out that dream. First, I dyed my hair red with one of those at-home rinses and initially, it seemed successful: good color, even throughout, I don't know what other qualities to look for in dyed hair but I was happy. But last night, I noticed it was splotchy, some parts were darker or even pink and others bleached (not sure how that happened) and some not dyed at all. So then I tried to hide my failed attempt from my Mom and I found that if I side-parted my hair on the left side instead of the right, I could hide most of the worst of it and then, from the front anyway, it just looked like I had one of those ugly but intentional jobs. My mom wasn't fooled however and confronted me and then just laughed because I looked so stupid.

Also I remember I had a dream about Dober, which was weird. Also a dream in which I tried to buy the Lucy doll I've been looking for but the only "Lucy" doll I could find was the remake of the original in the zebra bathing suit and it even had blond hair so I was like "hey, who do you think you are fooling?" and also weird, the inside the box was really plain. Normally they have colors or pictures or something.

Dreams Full of Heart

I dreamt that I met and hung out with Melissa Joan Hart. Which would pretty much be a childhood dream for me.

Won't be haunted by dreams I've deferred

Last night: I dreamt that I was Daniel Radcliffe's girlfriend. And we were nauseatingly affectionate. Then I had another dream that was really cool, except I don't remember very much now. It was sort of an epic magical fantasy and we rode around on horses in vaguely medieval costumes trying to a certain spot in a field where there were these whirling clouds overhead.

Before that: Amy and I went to "the city" but we were supposed to get back in time for Katie's sweet sixteen in the afternoon and Amy's parents anniversary in the evening which overlaped. We also saw Jeanne in the parking garage. We realized we only had 45 minutes to get back to Katie's party which was pushing it. First we got lost, and that made me stressed so I had even more trouble. Also part of the trip involved flying upside down. We missed the parties so I had to go where I was spending the night, Maggie's house (I don't know why!) although I didn't get there until 5AM and I was trying to sleep but Maggie and some of her Asian friends were leaving to go... uh somewhere not really sure. Some sort of protest I think but they were dressed like Mickey Mouse and friends and they told me it was a commentary on something cultural. Then Maggie's mom (who was completely unlike her real mom) comes in with a baby or more of a toddler who is really interested in my stuff but I'm still trying to sleep and the mom is all "Yeah, this is where he works." implying that I'm in the way. Then another guy named Glenn came in and he had a whole 'nother family although so I think they were polyamorous. Plus another guy who is a member at the club named Mr. Macnamara and he was just visiting his secret family and he kept saying "Aren't I cool like _____?" and naming random celebrities that really didn't pertain to the young audience although they heartily agreed. Then I moved the cot around the room, which was entirely pepto bismal pink, carpet and walls with just a cot and one pink dresser. I was tired but I also really wanted to leave. Eventually I woke up.

And here are some dreams I neglected to post for a long time but I had them at Camp Barnabas so here they are and entitled:

Campy Dreams

I dreamt that my car was stolen.

Secondly, I dreamt that I was bitten by a child and it left several concentric marks like so:

Almost sharklike. Then I saw a demon trying to kill a baby being held by a woman and I tried to grab the baby and tried to shout all the usual things that one does when they are performing an exorcism but all the adults around (this took place in an elevator) couldn't see the demon so they were trying to get the baby away from me except one little boy who could see it too and pointed and said "Look!" so the adults sort of paused and it became eerie. Needless to say, this dream totally freaked me out.

Then I had another dream that upset me so much that I tired to fall asleep in the dream in order to wake up but I couldn't remember what the dream was about.

Dancing Through Dream

I dreamt that I was at some sort of school/camp. I know I had to go to classes, but that we (this being a lot of friends from various places making cameos) were sleeping in cabins and everything was in a woodsy area. The dining hall was exasperating because a) I could never find Amy and Katie to eat with them and b) the line was really long and went out the door. You couldn't just go to the end either you had to check in at the cash register to get a stamp then go out and get at the end of the line. Then I was a volunteer in some sort of performance. We were in ballet get up, but no one was a trained dancer except for two curly guys. We danced inexpertly (as was required of us) and then all fell on the stage. Then Clinton Kelly walked on stage and sang a song. (This is legit, yo, he used to work as a singer on a cruise line. For realsies.) After the show was over, he made us all stay and went all evil ballet mistress on us.

And this one just for fun:

Broken Dreams

1. I dreamt that I was at a restaurant and ordered french toast but it came in one of those red plastic diner baskets and also in a puddle of what I believe to be butter so it was super soggy and disgusting. Later, I asked my mom to make french toast but she said she wouldn't make it because I had just had some the day before but I argued that it wasn't good, so it didn't count.

2 and 3. These dreams were actually interspersed, a la Julie and Julia except that I was in both of them. In one of them, I was at a theatre and I was looking for a bathroom but I couldn't find one that didn't have a long line. It was more exciting than it sounds because, I dunno it was a cool theatre and I was exploring weird not-totally-allowed-to-go-into areas. In the second story I was a Zooey Deschanel-type actress filming a quirky romantic comedy where my eccentric character falls in love with the loser skinny guy with messy dark hair much to the chagrin of the blond barrell chested jock. The jock in question, whose name was Ian and looked like this guy John from Camp Barnabas whom I called Jack in my head but Tyler called Eathan, had a car that was like the Indiana Jones ride vehicles: several rows and no top. Each row had a different sports logo adorning it. I or I guess my character was hanging out with him and all his beer-chugging muscle-toting buddies and they were being jackdonkeys and I went for a walk, leaving my purse (Stupid, I know. I didn't write it.) and then they drove off. I met up with them somewhere else but they didn't get my purse and they wouldn't take me back to get it and I was mad. He tried to take my arm and told me to get back in the car (as they so often do) but I refused. The last scene we filmed was the lame but sweet guy and I were frolicking in some tall "California gold" grass. And I wore a longish navy summer dress with tiny yellow and orange flowers all over it. Yeah.

Dreamer's Remorse

Last night I dreamt that I was at a fancy department store trying on dresses and then Beeler called and told me that Kasy (? During the dream I thought it was Lindsey. Sorry Lindsey.) had died. I decided to make her a large condolence poster but I couldn't figure out what to say that was both sympathetic and yet hopeful. It went something like "I'm so sorry for your loss but it's good that we believe in Heaven..." You can easily see the difficulty. Then Steph and Anushka showed up and I asked them how she died but they deftly avoided the question. Then I suggested dinner at Fudd's or Applebee's but they didn't want to do that either. We were late to go where ever we were supposed to go so I think we started to go there.

Gone with the Dream

It's been a while, but not necessarily for lack of dreams but lack of not being too lazy to post them.

I can't make sense of much of the dream I had last night except that there was some sort of catastrophe going on, but throughout the whole thing (whether I liked it or not, although I usually did) Rhett Butler was nearby. So, that was awesome.

Just another dream

I dreamt that I saw a Fozzie Bear just like mine on the side of the road but it was all faded and dirty so I stopped to get it. I hoped it wasn't mine but just the same I didn't want to see a Fozzie looking so sad and decrepit on the side of the road like that. At the same time, it was dirty so I didn't really want to keep it so I left it at a McDonald's so someone could adopt it or I could come back for it if I found out it wasn't mine.

I had another dream that I was moving into my dorm. First I was taken to the new dorm and it was like a mall inside with restaurants and stores (I was excited because I could easily eat after 8:00 now!) and my room was a huge suite with several roomy bedrooms, guys and girls and colorfully decorated. Then they said oh no, this isn't your room and took me to another place that was less fantastic. That too, turned out to not be my room. Finally, I was taken to my room. I opened the door and it was a tiny living room the size of the coat closet in my house with five girls squished into it (and one was in a wheelchair) you had to crawl through a hole to get to another "room" that was even smaller with bunks stacked three high and barely enough room to fit. I started bawling and telling my Dad I couldn't live like that and would he please let me move to another room. The evil gouging housing lady that was showing us around told him it would cost about $800 more a month.

Off the wall dream

This dream is so bizarre, even for me, that I can't really describe very much of it because it just doesn't make any sense. I think Chandler was getting married and we were making preparations or something. Finally some sort of shindig started and all this weird stuff was going on. It was outside in sort of an ampitheatre, with kids running around and there was waterskiing. Yeah, I said it was weird. Then a storm started and we had to evacuate and I got separated from my parents but then I was walking with a friend of my Mom's trying to get back to who knows where. There was a lot of trekking but eventually I got to my house. I went inside with some friends and Condoleeza Rice. We shut the door, but then the screen door blew in and crushed a person. Three other people died including Condy, one from a tree branch that flew in, and with the last one I was trying to close the sliding glass door and I turned around and saw another person die and the Burton blood drops flew at my face in slow motion, very Tarantino. Then I decided I wanted to wake up so I went upstairs and got into bed and tried to sleep and then I woke up.

It's a dream girl!

Last night, I dreamt that I had just woken up from having a baby. Apparently by cesaerean, because I had a scar. My parents were kind of mad because I wouldn't tell them who the father was, but I didn't know. Because I didn't remember having sex at all, and not because I had slept with so many guys that I didn't know which one. She was kind of ugly, like this little girl at work who is vaguely Middle Eastern and hairy. She had lots of crazy black hair. I didn't know what to name her, but I was leaning towards Melody. Then I decided to get dressed but apparently it was too soon because the stitches started to bleed so I had to get back into bed. It was very weird.

Other dreams I have had:
I was walking into a synagoge (no idea why) and started to cross myself, aware that some ceremony was expected of me but not sure what to do.

and more to be added later...

In the eye of the dreamer

Night before last: I went back to Kali, as did a lot of other people. I started to do some sort of opening procedure and full timer got all snotty with me (no one I actually know) and asked me when the last time I had done that and I said that I was a CP last year (implying that it wasn't recently but I had in fact been trained at some point which she seemed to doubt) so then she left me alone. Later, we had to go to a staff meeting of sorts because a much older manager and a young frontline cast member had gotten into an argument. I was walking to where the meeting was supposed to be with my boyfriend? I guess because we were hugging and holding hands and in general being disgustingly nice and affectionate. He told me the two were married and I was sure they couldn't be because they hated each other so much and there was a huge age difference and they both said they weren't gay but he assured me they were which is why their fights were more intense. We got to this big living room and everyone sat on couches all around and the fighting continued as we tried to resolve it. Really the BF and I just kept our mouths shut and made raised eye brow faces at each other.

Last night:
At one point, I was walking with my brother along the sidewalk to my house from the park and saw Andy walking towards us, but he was wearing a turquoise Relient K shirt, the same one that I have except it couldn't have been mine because it fit him appropriately. Their dog Bonnie was with him and acting kind of crazy, pulling him and stuff.

In another possibly unrelated dream, I was trying to drive my brothers and myself to our great-aunt and -uncle's house but had never come from this direction so I wasn't sure where I was going. No problem because I had my Thomas guide but they wouldn't shut up long enough to let me look at it and then I accidentally ran a red light. Then I was someplace by myself, it felt like a college campus or dorm area (I was outside) but that I wasn't allowed to leave. Well I guess that makes it a prison. I was trying to escape. Then I get to this building and my parents are there with Daniel and lots of other people and I dreamed about planning for VBS. My co-teacher was there too and we decided to use Daniel as our focus group. I even remember one of the names I came up with in the dream: Wallaby Warriors! Although I don't think I'll use it. Warrior is sort of aggressive. The weirdest thing about this place was that everything was in bright colors like turquoise, hot pink, etc... not exactly neon but very saturated and vibrant. Even the footballs we were throwing around.

Dreams were made for you and me!

Here's the parts I remember, but I can't remember how they were related or even really what order.
I was talking to Charlie Sheen (who may have been related to me, I seem to remember calling him Uncle Charlie but that could also be because I watch 2 1/2 Men occasionally) and trying to cheer him up. So we looked up his IMDB page and it said he had been sober since 1998 (pretty sure this is not true) and I was telling him how great it was, and that he'd be able to live so much longer for his children etc... but he was still kind of down.

Later I saw Denise Richards and she scoffed at Charlie, because I accidentally said something about knowing him.

I was at a Playboy Mansion party and Fall Out Boy was there, dressed in ridiculous outfits including Mad Hatter type top hats, and apparently they were good friend

s with Hef, who had weird long hair (like Adam in this picture) and tried to hit on me. So I left, and saw Mickey Mouse (in the Disneyland character form) and blew kisses and did all the normal greeting stuff and then he started talking which was weird. Then I went outside and it was a giant arboreum filled with lots and lots of flowering trees and vines and bushes. I saw Jim (from The Office) talking to Oscar, who was commenting on the flowers saying it was much better than the usual office parties. Jim had decided he wanted to use this beautiful set up to marry Pam, but he was worried you wouldn't be able to see the flowers at night and they wouldn't have enough time to put up more twinkle lights. He also didn't want everyone to find out because he didn't want a lot of people in attendance. Then Pam showed up and told him she was getting an abortion because this wasn't the time she wanted to have a baby and she didn't plan it this way, etc... Jim is clearly upset by this and Pam gets a little defensive and starts with the "it's my body..." and the "if you don't support me..." and Jim tries to reassure her, saying she's right and they can have a baby another time. But he is still obviously disappointed and really wanted the baby.

There was an old man who was going to meet the love of his life whom he lost years ago. She showed up but she was still young because she had been cryogenically frozen and she was sort of mad that he had let himself go. Then they separated part of the land we were on into an island and sailed that island to another island where they turned into worms and consumated their uh relationship. Then they sailed that tiny island to another island and I believe were going to turn into slightly more vertebrate animals and I got this impression this would continue. Also that they were escaping and also the rest of society would be a little better without them like they were vampires or murderers or some other blight.

Dreaming with the Stars

The first dream I had was pretty horrible: I dreamt that my mom was divorcing my dad and they were acting like they didn't care. I was yelling at my dad that my mom could live without him but he couldn't live without her. It was awful and I had to remind myself it wasn't very likely when I awoke.

In the second dream, I was backstage on the set of Dancing with the Stars talking to Shawn Johnson and she was super nervous. I still can't remember the second half of this dream!

Won't Be Haunted By Dreams I've Deferred

I thought I already posted this dream, but now I can't find it (which seems to be a trend these days... I can't find LOTS of stuff I've been looking for, but I digress.) so it might be a repeat. Oh well.

I was in the wings of a dance recital of my old studio that I went to in Texas watching all the little girls in their tutus trying to dance. Then I ran into Katie R (who never danced there but for some reason she was backstage) and we were naturally excited to see each other as she still lives in Texas and we haven't seen her in many years. She took me out to the lobby where her dad and Danny (our friend Caitlin's dad, Caitlin being someone who did attend the same studio) and we were all happy to see each other. Then I offered to take them to Animal Kingdom and show them around. When we got there, another family that was friends with my family in Texas, the Bullers, joined us. And I showed them all around Animal Kingdom which was nothing like the real Animal Kingdom, but kind of like the dinosaur park in SimTheme Park.

Dream Rewind

This one was a week ago or so but I never got around to posting it.
I was at "work" again on "Kali" and again neither the location or job tasks had anything to do with the actual Kali so whatever. This time I was one of those lifeguards who stand in the catching pool at the end of a waterslide holding on to their little red thingies and tell you to get out immediately after landing. The pool was inside, and I was the only person working. Which I don't realize why that was a problem seeing as I didn't have any guests either but I guess it was. Coburn showed up and I kept hinting that I was working alone and needed help but he either didn't get it or didn't care to do anything about it and just stood in the pool talking to me. That's all.

...Do My Dreaming and My Scheming

I dreamt that I had started dating Loofy, but it was Loofy a few years ago when he was more annoying and he looked more like Brian Ball, who was even more annoying than Loofy was a few years ago. I think I was just bored. So I started making out with him and it was still pretty boring so I was like mmkay I'm done with this and ran out of the room and hid in the girls' bathroom (we were IN MY dorm ROOM) hoping he would get the hint. (You too.) Then there were these little girls asking me to show them how to flush the toilet and they had all this cheap plastic jewelry and I suggested keeping it away from the toilet. Then I washed my hands and left and found Naomi, my roommate in the dream, (Who is not my real roommate but a girl I know from ballet class and I had seen her in a play before I went to sleep.) talking to the annoying round headed kid trying to explain my behavior and give him advice.

Dream works.

There are three parts of the dream, and I can't remember what order they go in or what transitions there were, but here they are:

1. I was getting my tourist on in NYC and I was walking past the NBC cafeteria which had huge windows (I have no idea if any such place actually exists) and saw Stephen Colbert, John Oliver and other daily show correspondents eating lunch together. They were still all in "costume", meaning suits and ties for most of them but Colbert's hair was still perfectly coiffed and he had on a sparkly red tie, literally the whole thing was covered with red glitter. And yes, it was awesome. So I knocked on the window (celebrities make me bold, just ask Julia about when we met Dave Douglas) and waved until Colbert noticed me and he stood up and sort of half stood up in the booth, leaned over so the top half of his body was parallel to the floor and waved back and made all sorts of silly faces. Then I wanted to go inside and get a photo, like my good friend Nushi has, but I realized I forgot my camera. Bad tourist.

2. I was babysitting the Gosselin children again. When I started out, they were taking a nap and Cara (who was being a nice normal child for once, actually I realize now it was switched. The usually bad one was named Cara but was acting good, and the usually good one was named Mady but she wasn't being particularly bad) and Leah had woken up. They wanted to watch a movie, but I said they had to wait because it would wake their siblings and I wanted them to sleep as long as possible. Then Cara hurt her finger so I was trying to get a glass of ice water to soak it in but she disappeared and I saw Jon and he was mad because he said I lost one of the kids and I said I hadn't but his yelling woke the rest and then it became chaotic but there were lots of other babysitters so I just kept looking for Cara but at this point I started to call her Cady. Then Kate came home and told me I couldn't be a regular babysitter just because I lived too far away which was fine with me. I had had enough of that mad house.

3. I was in Chipotle with my friends and Michael Phelps (We may or may not have been dating... not sure. There was definitely flirtation going on though.) He had 2 or 3 burritos as I recall. I decided to refill my Coke and offered to do the same for him, but he wanted Hi-C pink lemonade. Then I spent what seemed like a long time trying to fill the drinks. At first I got the drinks in the wrong cup, then the Dr. Pepper wasn't mixed properly, then the Hi-C wouldn't come out, but eventually I managed.

Dreams Are Made of Strong Elastic

At first I was working in one of those super fancy and ridiculously expensive cake making places, a la Charm City Cakes, under the tutelage of an old guy who spoke with a thick, blustery accent. Oh yeah and I totally sucked at my job. I didn't know how to do anything very well and gave up easily. I was supposed to help him prepare two cakes for my ex-aunt (divorced from my uncle, and I'd just like to say that this person in real life is not as crazy as this dream makes her seem) because she and various other members of my family were coming for a reunion, even though they were only related through me, i.e. people from both my mom and my dad's family. Anyway, she wanted cakes to commemorate the death of her father, which she believed was at the hands of my grandfather (and I knew better) so my mom was like, "Really? You're going to do this?" But I guess I thought I had no choice. The first was several separate cakes in a light blue color, each with a little sign describing what I assume to be his more charming attributes, and one was a photo. I have to say that these came out much better than the drawing here.

The other was a roller coaster on top of a big orange sheet cake. No idea how that honored a geriatric homicide victim but that's what she wanted. I asked him how to make the pylons and he showed me how he dried what appeared to be a super long penne (about 1 ft) and bragged about how other bakeries only offered one size, but our pylons' diameter could be variable. I guess I was supposed to make more because the next day he was like "Where are they?" (I told you I was bad at cake decorating!)

Then somehow we transitioned to a Disney like place and they were building a new adventure themed roller coaster involving both Harry Potter and Indiana Jones. A ringer Harry Potter would get on the ride, then their seat would be ejected and later rejoin the ride while delivering "spells" for the excitement of the riders I guess. There was much debate over what the spells in the script should be. (I think I was arguing for Expelliarmus and Wingardium leviosa. I remember one chick saying "What about Accio wand?" and I was like "Duh, that's for bringing your wand to you. That won't work here!") My brother Chandler was one of the test stunt people, his job was to demonstrate the Indiana stunts swinging around on his whip keeping his hat on his head (I wish I had a picture of Chandler in his Indy hat to put right here! Yes, he actually has one.) and saving a chick who was tied up. He was particularly adept at these things so I was trying to get him hired on to be an actual actor/stunt man when the coaster was open to the public. Meanwhile, I met another cast member who knew a lot of the Kali people and we talked about them, particularly Eric and his crush on me. Finally, I got to do a test ride of the coaster (sitting next to "Harry") and I wanted to go again with one of the cast members so they could show me Hidden Mickeys and cool secrets but I didn't get a chance as my brother and I had to return to our Disney dorms. Over time (I believe) Chandler became violent and started terrorizing the hall and threatening to kill people. When I pointed out that they didn't deserve to die he asked if I would prefer that he kill his ex-girlfriend because she deserved it and I gave that an emphatic NO as well. I was trying to stop him, literally I was on his back. Then I awoke.

Also part of my dream was me getting more Regal gift cards and I thought "wow, I'll never have to pay for movies again."

The Dreams Are Back In Town

I dreamt that I was living with several people in a huge house, for what reason I don't know. There were famous people and people my age, mostly real. I went to take a shower, turned the water on and opened the curtain only to find one of my roommates dismembered in the shower. I started to scream, but no one could hear me over the sound of the shower so I went to the sitting room and found the only other resident who was there (and alive) and said "Mr. Sheen, Mr. Sheen! There's a dead body in my shower!" He didn't believe me at first, but finally I convinced him to at least go look. He came back and I asked him what to do. I offered to call the police but he said no, I should absolutely not do that. I disagreed, but he was adamant. After a while the rest of our household came home except another of my roommates. They were all trying to find clues and move the body but I kept saying we should call the police but everyone said no. Meanwhile I started to get mysterious texts from the girl who wasn't home. The first was sort of threatening, the second instructed me to call a number and listen to a voicemail which I refused to do. Finally, there was an inquest in our mansion and a sassy black lady judge arrived. Then I was called to witness. My Mom showed up and I told her about the texts and she made me go up in front of the judge again and I showed her, and she listened to the voicemail and then got all serious but still nobody knew what it said except for her. There really wasn't much information, everyone sort of assumed it was the missing girl but nobody knew why. (Prepare yourself, I have no solution.) After the unsatisfying inquest, all of our mansion-mates were sitting around discussing it and all I remember before I woke up was talking to "Mr. Firth."

I've had a few mini-dreams including: losing weight, getting money and one where Chandler secretly had a facebook but didn't tell anyone because he didn't want to be friends with Joseph and me.

The dreammakers gonna make you mad

I dreamt that I was driving to Fresno with Kristi Barsam (No I don't know why.) but as soon as we arrived, she hopped out of the car and ran off. So I spent the rest of the day driving crazily around Fresno looking for her. When it was night I finally went back to where I had lost her and decided to knock on doors and see if anyone had seen her. The first door I went, she was there and was mad because she and other people had been trying to call me all day. I guess my cell phone was off or not receiving calls for some strange reason. Then I wanted to leave to go home because I had to drive to school (which makes no sense because I was already in Fresno) but my parents were like no, it's too long to drive and it's too late and you're tired and you'll crash and die, just take a plane or something. But I was like no, I'm not leaving my car here and plus that's way too expensive. I think I woke up before it was resolved.

Dream Police

Here are some dreams that I have had in the past few days:

I dreamt that the Gosselins brought their sextuplets to Sunday School at my church and I was pretty excited to see and talk to the kids but other people were getting upset and saying that I was going celebrity crazy on them.

I also dreamt that Amber Augustyn was driving my truck. Andy was in the front seat, I was in the back with someone else. As we were going around this winding narrow mountain road, Andy was trying to give her instructions but she took a turn too widely and one tire was hanging over the side. Andy managed to get us all out of the car before it toppled over the side and we watched it flatten on the ground below. I was sort of relieved because I wasn't driving and couldn't be blamed, plus I knew that the insurance would replace the car. I was more mad about losing my CDs and stuff that was lost and/or destroyed but would not be replaced.

I also had a dream about my last day of work at Disney, except for some reason I was a lifegaurd but still in my Kali costume. I woke up an hour and a half late, and wouldn't be able to make it in 1/2 an hour which is the limit for being late. I couldn't find my costume because I had turned all but one in and I was in my bedroom at home and my closet is very very full. I decided to try to go anyway because I kept hoping that for some reason the time I was supposed to start was actually later than I had written down. Plus it was going to suck because I think you get in trouble if you miss the last day.

I was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream...

I had two dreams last night.

In the first, I was in an episode of The Office. The characters were real, but I was still aware of the fact that it was contrived. I could see that Jim was about to do something stupid so I decided to change the outcome of the episode. He was going say something stupid to Pam and she would be horribly embarrassed so I sort of "rewound" what was going on and went with Pam helped her avoid it and then went over to Jim, took him aside and instructed him not to say anything. My new version worked out much better and in the end I was a bridesmaid at their wedding.

The second dream, I was partying with Anushka at an all night buffet, then we realized it was 6:45 AM and she was going to take me home (which is a joke because Anushka can't drive so it'd totally be the other way around) and I guess I lived at a Hard Rock Hotel for some reason. So I get there and have to go through the restaurant and I see R. Patz (I know, again! So soon!) eating with a bunch of friends so then I want to text Anushka and tell her to come back and see R. Patz but I can't find my phone. Then I go up the escalator and for some reason I decide to go to this cosmetics counter that is on a ledge on the second floor. It is run and patronized only by short Asian chicks with bleach-streaked hair so I'm definitely out of place, also I'm terrified (and rightly so I believe) of falling off this two foot ledge with no railing so I'm crawling and hugging the side. Also, I'm wearing this sort of Kardashianesque dress: It was black made out of this light fabric, I forget what it's called, let's go with chiffon. That sounds right, or something like it, but with sparkly pinstripes. It's got a high neck, and long baggy sleeves with long cuffs but is short. Sort of a shift dress, I dunno it was cool. This is the same shape, but with longer cuffs and like I said it was black with sparkle. And I had my super high black cork wedges on. So I get upstairs and have to go through their brunch type place and see people from church and they are all appalled that I've been out all night partying and are saying things like they didn't think I was that kind of girl and I tried to explain, I seemed to think I had a legit reason to be out, but then was sort of laughing at the idea that I was that kind of girl. Then I think I got distracted and left again.

Dream Sequence

The first dream was very disturbing. It involved Lindsay Lohan, some guy and what can best be described as a Lucille Ball Ninja. If I was any character in this dream, I was the Lucille Ball Ninja. At first, LBN showed up at guru guy's house. Then kung fu stuff happened, I don't remember what or why. There were lots of these short fat scimitar type knives and lots of people dying but very little blood. Then Lindsay Lohan showed up and the LBN caugh the guy and Lindsay having sex so she cut Lindsay Lohan twice, like )( through her stomach and she just stands there in shock while little Tim Burton type blood droplets start to ooze out and then gets one final swipe straight across her stomach and her whole top half falls off. It was very Kill Bill.

In the second dream I was working in a shoe store and we were having a big clearance sale. I was doing pretty well until somebody asked me to help her find some socks in her size and I had to do that thing I hate and don't believe when salespeople do it to me where you say well all we have is right here so if it isn't there then we don't have it. Then we closed I guess or I was off work so I went to the back and was getting ready to go but I had ballet clothes on and had to decide whether or not to change but then I couldn't find my regular clothes.

April Fools Dream

I dreamt that I overslept (at home) and woke up at 10:50 and rushed to make an 11:00 French class. I got into my car but forgot how to get to school and ended up driving along a bike path through a park. I eventually managed to get there but when I did I found out it was really 5:00 so I had really missed it. I went home to find my parents preparing for some sort of party at an alternate site. This Asian couple showed up and were all huggy and said how excited they were to adopt me and put me in their movies. Then someone who was there asked them where they made their films and they said "Indonesia, not China" and that seemed to relieve the person who was asking. When they finally left, I ran (in wedges and a dress! I guess I was already dressed for the party) all the way to where my parents where to ask them if they were going to adopt me out to this family and they both said of course not so I was happy. I even remember telling my mom, while smiling at one of the DAK internationals (I think Andria), that even though I liked them (the DAK internationals) I wasn't so sure about Indonesia in general. Then my mom did ask me to pick up some buns on my way home, because we had a bunch of relatives staying there. I got there and my dad tried to compress all of our cars together to fit in the garage. Like in Harry Potter with the Knight Bus goes between those two other buses. His attempts and the subsequent scratches were making me pretty mad.

Working on a Dream

The night before last, I dreamt that I was dating R. Patz and it was cool. He was kind of possessive and kept making me promise that I had really never seen or read Twilight. There was more stuff but I forget.



Last night, I dreamt that I was at Disney World (as a guest-cast member) that was nothing like the real Disney World. It was still quaint and looked like a medieval village with cobblestones and quaint kiosks. I was watching a Princess show and wearing a blue and gold baseball cap. Then I felt something on my head and turn around to see what looks like Robert kissing my head. So I punch him and run away and this guy chases after me. I go towards another cast member I know and he got all protective and kind of watched what was going on in case he needed to step in. I'm grateful to that imaginary cast member for his protectiveness. I'm on the other side of a rope and he stops and trys to tell me he saw me and thought I was, I dunno how he phrased it, cute or something and so he came over to make his move. He turned out to be an ugly British guy who did sort of look like Robert and was wearing weird clothes. His shorts looked like either long boxers, the thin material, black with some sort of purple pattern or short pajama pants and the rest black. He actually said it sort of charming and I thought about not being freaked out but then he put my hand on mine and since I'm completely revulsed by physical touch so that totally ruined it. But truthfully I could never date anyone who looked even remotely like Robert, so it was all moot anyway.

Dreamlets

I remember only an inkling of this dream, and it involved Dewey from Malcolm in the middle and several other kids his age (which is probably more likely his age a few years ago) and they were trying to look like the Jonas brothers to get more attention. Dewey had an ill-fitting brown wig and some other guys actually had curlers in their hair. It was quite funny and would make a great SNL sketch.

In a separate dream, I was excited to be moving to London until I realized I would have to drive on the wrong side of the road. Then I realized I couldn't take my car because the driver's seat is on the left. Although my Dad tells me that French people are allowed to drive their cars, on the left side of the road, in England. And vice versa for English drivers driving in the right hand seat on the right hand road in France. Random fact for you.

Whoa, Dream Big!

I dreamt that I got 100% on an anatomy test. Not likely, but it was fun while it lasted.

New-ish Dreams

A while ago I had a dream that was sort of like being in a different language except it was in Sim. Everybody and everything was like being in the Sims. Kind of sad.

Last night I dreamt that I confronted certain people who currently live near me and informed them, accurately, that we had gone to high school together. Then this other guy came up to me and was like "well that means I went to high school with you too" as if to prove me wrong and I was like "yes, duh!" because I remembered him as well.

Destination Dream

I'm not sure how or why I was there, but I was on the booze cruise with our favorite office-mates and then some. Jim and Pam were together, but pregnant Karen was also there and she "lovin' up on" Jim. (We were all sitting at the same table.) Jim seemed ambivalent, if slightly uncomfortable and Pam looked pissed. Legitimately confused, I said "I thought you and Pam were together!" Jim kind of realized the precariousness of the situation and began to gently extricate himself from the caresses of the pregnant woman and I think Pam started to leave the group.

Then I ended up at Shannon's youth drug rehab facility that was apparently "in the hills near Moraga" as I later informed a radio DJ. We'll get to that. At first I was really happy to be visiting Shannon (and as far as I know, that's all it was. I don't believe I was being treated there.) but when we were alone in her office, I told her I wasn't comfortable, as I so tactfully put it, "staying in a room with a bunch of alkies because it would be weird." Needless to say, she didn't appreciate my candor or my judgementalism, if that's a word, and gave me a stern downdressing saying I shouldn't look down on them and that I could learn a thing or two. So I left to go join the alkies, I mean guests, at dinner. I was wearing a Nightmare Before Christmas glow-in-the-dark t-shirt of all things! At my table for dinner, I was in a booth with 4 or 5 patients who all looked like they 7 or 8. One little girl with long, light brown curls became attached to me (although I was never sure of her real age.) and sat in my lap, hugging me, and I think wanted to play with my hair. Then she gave me a tour and of several very interesting rooms, the one I remember the most was a ballet studio. I went in thinking I would twirl around and stretch out on the barre but there was a class in progress so I left.

The next morning I decided to do something Steph, who had apparently moved into the area, had wanted to do. She told me about this Asian guy about our age that she had met who was super smart, but very socially awkward. She wanted to call this radio show and have them talk to him, why I'm still not sure. So I call the radio DJ (and describe where I am: "the hills near Moraga") and he agrees to talk to the guy. This actually sounds really mean. Anyway, I try to figure out how I can call the guy and trick him into calling the radio station (I don't know him, but Steph gave me his phone number), stay on the line with the radio station or even give them his number because I'm on my phone calling them AND call Steph telling her to tune in. So I just decide to toss the whole thing and hang up on everybody.

It's a dream AND a state of mind

I remembered this dream from last week:
I dreamt that Jessica's series of vampire books was published and being turned into a TV series. After the pilot, she wanted more control over the writing and I don't think it turned out very well. No idea how or why I was involved in any of this, I guess I was just observing. No word on whether it was ostensibly about the reunification of Germany.

Also I remember playing this game in a dream. It's like a video game that utilizes a vacuuming type motion, located below Spaceship Earth in Disney's EPCOT.

This dream would be better set to music

The only part of the dream I remember was argueing with my Dad about the, wow this is hard to explain, we were looking at all the different types of recordings of Les Miz, and I was trying to clear up their chronology? We have the DVD of a 10th anniversary special, which combined the best of the original Broadway and London cast aka the "Dream Cast". When I was growing up we listened to a cassette recording of the main songs of this performance. The CD we now have is a more recent recording (albeit still 10 years old I think) that is made up of contemporary cast members from all over the world. I dunno what you call that kind of clarification. But my Dad wasn't interested and he was making me mad by not listening to me.